I just got back from a French field trip to festivals acadiens in Lafayette Lousiana. It was amazing, my new favorite band is Foufollet (sorry pizzicato five). The people in Lousiana were so nice and they had a much less shy style of nice than you get in Minnesota. I haven't felt so alive in a while. I think that I just feel emotionaly dead in Iowa, that's good cause I was honestly starting to think there was something wrong with me. It's kinda bad too cause I have to live here for the next three or four years. I think I need to feel like a part of a community in order to feel human, but there is no community here aside from the generic college community cause this town is nothing but my college. I should be used to it, I've never really belonged to a community. I was considered an outsider in my home town cause my parents didn't grow up there and I didn't move there till I was six, but I wasn't rich enough to fit in with the other outsiders. St. Paul is the most accepting place I've ever been, but it takes most people a while to get over the whole grew up in a small farming town thing. I don't even want to belong in my hometown, after I graduate I'll never go back. I don't want to be the kind of person that thinks tractor pulls are enertainment, I want to be a part of the world. I should be used to this, but I got throug childhood by thinking things would change when I got to college so, it's a bit disapointing.